Best Things Heard This Week

2/8:
My buddy had gone out Saturday night for dinner/drinks with friends. He woke up on the couch the next morning, looked out the window and saw that the head had fallen off their garden statue...immediately he thought to himself...Oooohh Shit, did I do that last night?????
He finally got up the courage (an hour later!) to ask them and luckily for him, they reassured him saying it had been like that for months!